On November 27th, I was able to attend an event that Dee had regarding sex and how to have better sex. It was appropriately titled "Dirty deeds with Dee". I was accompanied by several other classmates and we had a blast. We talked about everything, and I mean everything. I really enjoyed how open everyone was about their sexuality and how no one was afraid to ask any type of questions. Experiencing this made me realize that everyone in this “sex talk” seemed to be sex positive. The article that I want to refer back to is the sex positivity one and 8 ways to tell you’re sex positive. There are several of those points that I want to reflect on.
“Know Thyself” is the first point I want to touch on. During the sex talk, we talked a lot about knowing yourself and what you like. If you don’t know what you like or what you want, how do you expect your partner to know or be able to tell them what you want? As stated in the article, “I do think it’s important to always dig into your own emotions/mind/psyche and assess: What is this doing for me? How do I feel afterward?” I feel like this perfectly identifies with what we talked about at this event.
Secondly, we talked about consent and what counts as someone consenting to a sexual act. To be sex positive means that both parties are equally consenting and “enthusiastically” consenting to engage in an activity. If one person notices the other is only going along with the motions to make them happy, they stop and don’t push the limits. The Fifty Shades of Grey series was talked about at this event and how that portrays a negative outlook on BDSM and consent. Dee was able to pass around a book that was more focused on the beauty of consent and it was portrayed in a positive light. “Consent is sexy in lots of forms”.
Lastly, we discussed how sex for people can be a completely different experience. What turns you on may be different from what turns someone else on. People have fetishes and sometimes they are seen as wrong or disgusting. As Mike said in class, “don’t yuck someone’s yum”. At the event, we briefly touched on fetishes and I was taken aback by a few, but I was able to look at them in a positive notion and know that just because it’s not what I’m into, someone else potentially could be.
I really feel like this class, and the sex positivity article, helped with being able to identify as being sex positive. I enjoyed hearing about everyone's experiences (as weird as that might sound) and the crazy yet totally normal questions my classmates would ask. Sex positivity is such an important part of identifying who you are as a person and I feel as though this event was not just a good time but also really shined light on everyone’s sex positivity.