First, I want to comment on Noelles blog. She states in high
school she was picked on for not having sex. I completely understand how she
must have felt. I had gone to an all-girls, catholic high school and sex was
NOT talked about. If someone were to have sex, it was kept hush hush and it
wasn’t something that was bragged about. Out of my group of friends, I was the
one who was scared to have sex. Not just because of the initial “losing of my
virginity” but also for the emotional consequences that come along with it. So
therefore, I was picked on for being the “prude”. But, once I started dating
this guy at the age of 18, my views changed and I was no longer scared. So
Noelle, I know where you’re coming from!
In White’s blog, she mentions that having sex is good but so
is NOT having sex. With the way society is today, if a person doesn’t have sex it’s
more of a shocker. I had to kind of step back for a second and check myself. I
have a friend who never has sex and I mean NEVER. And in the past, I have made
comments to her about it and implied that it just wasn’t normal. Now I’m being
who my group of friends were being in high school and putting pressure on
someone I care about and value as a friend and I know she’s upset by it. Just
because I personally love sex, doesn’t mean that everyone around me loves it
equally as much.
I also like how White states that intimacy is complex. She’s
right, especially when it comes to females. In most female’s minds, when you are intimate
with someone, you’re giving that person a part of yourself. This in turn can
cause attachment and emotional issues such as if the person you were intimate
with breaks your heart. Guys on the other hand, can go out and bring someone
different home every night and not have any attachment issues with women. Not saying this is true for every guy, it’s
just the common standard for males.
Lastly, White states that “just because it doesn’t turn you
on doesn’t mean it’s wrong”. I read
mikes blog and I like how he said not to “yuck someone’s yum”. People are
turned on to different things, what I might like is different from what someone
else might be into. Fetish’s are a big part of the sex world today and just
because we might not understand some of them doesn’t mean they’re wrong. I guess there really is no wrong when it
comes to sex.
After reading Whites blog I can say I am sex positive.
Who knew sex had so many benefits?
Hi Katie- I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for taking such a risk in class the other day. I hope that you recognize the value it had and feel as though it was shared in safe space. I was thinking some more on the subject and I was reminded of a saying I used to share when I did this work- when it doubt think to yourself 2 things- The absence of a NO is not the PRESENCE of a Yes... then ask is my consent enthusiastic? As a rule of thumb trust your guts- if something about the situation feels abusive or uncomfortable or forced it probably is. Email me privately if you want to chat some more I may have some helpful/interesting info for you.
ReplyDeleteIn solidarity,
Chris
Thanks Chris! I'm a very open person and have no problem sharing something that could also have happened to someone else. I'm just happy that part of my life is over and I can move on!
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ReplyDeleteI like how you shared your experience in school. People need to know that it's fine is someone wants to be sexually active or not, society makes to much of a big deal about both.
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